What are we doing here?

I haven't used this app/website consistently as a blog, as a communication tool.
I had to pay for it, so I am going to use it as my blog. 
I don't really care if people read it.  
But if people do read it, feel free to comment.
I am not a great writer.  But I want to be a better writer.
This will be my practice.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.

We haven't had an MFR in two years now.  
I got burned out.  I got tired of all of the time and energy that was needed to produce a festival.  While I loved doing it, it was always a struggle to find enough qualified volunteers to "staff" the various positions.
There always seemed to be a lack in security, parking, and shuttle.
there seemed to always be conflict at the end.
I would get frustrated.  Sometimes I snapped. Sometimes, I responded with kindness, gentility, and compassion.  Sometimes I was attacked.  Sometimes I was thanked.
After last festival, I thought it was the best festival ever.  
Even though, we had some serious problems with security, parking, and volunteers.
It was a beautiful festival.
Then someone that felt disgruntled after being told no, blasted me on social media.
And then the pile on began.
I didn't defend myself against the pile on.  Even though the pilers hadn't even come to festival.  Even though they got 4 free tickets for 4 years, they still felt they were treated poorly when challenged at previous festivals about the work output.
So it was.  It was devastating, hurtful, and my heart was crushed at the way the community (select few, not everyone, I truly believe that the "problem children" are the minority and the loving, grateful, joyful festies are the majority) came at me, with no defense.
I lost my safe space.  I lost my direction. I lost my desire to work for the community that wants a safe space but does not provide a safe space for all.
And I just didn't want to do it anymore. 
So we took a break.
And I got really depressed.
For good reason, I do believe.  My family was and still is in chaos.
I am disconnected from several of my children (adult).  I am disconnected from my community.  
Is it my community still?
I think it is.  But we are very disconnected at this time.
Shall we have another festival?  
Maybe. I said we would.  But it's a lot of work.  And is this my purpose anymore?
I guess that's what I would like to achieve with this blog:
1. Communicate my feelings, emotions, and desires so I can discern my purpose and my calling.
2.  Communicate MFR updates as appropriate.
Blessings to us all.  If you are still reading, thank you!